Thursday, December 8, 2011

4 Reasons Why A Woman Stops Texting You

1) You got her mad. 
2) You got boring (Yeah, we hate predictable).
3)  She fell asleep (zzzzzzzzzz). 
4) You said 'K'. ('K' just doesn't cut it, boy!) 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Men Of My Life - My Blue Eyed Boy

Blogging Takes Over The World
I wrote my first blog post somewhere in the year 2006; but 2006 was definitely not the year I began writing. I began penning down my thoughts much before that; and when I say penning, I mean exactly that. I would put a pen to paper every time I had something worth documenting.
Then there came the era of blogs and bloggers; and voila, I’d jumped onto the bandwagon. Writing out my first blogpost, I sounded all feminist. Maybe not the bra-burning variety, but somehere in that zone! I am sure I’d pissed off some decent men with that blogpost. But well, I was but a whole of 19 back then. I know that sounds old enough, but I was a woman who had things to say (and some of them were really angry and sounded mean!).
If there is one thing I remember clearly about writing that post, it was the fact that I had decided that I would never (read: NEVER) do a Carrie Bradshawie post. For all my ill – informed friends here, Carrie Bradshaw is the protagonist of the popular (or so we 20 something women believe) sitcom ‘Sex And The City’.

Carrie Bradshaw in SATC

So how do you define a Carrie Bradshawie post? Here goes –
(Please Note: My apologies to any SATC and Carrie Bradshaw fans reading this. RESPECT!)
1)       Her posts /books/episodes/movies revolve around the one emotion that makes the world go round – LOVE! *sigh*
2)      Romance in any other form
3)      Men of her life
4)     Wrong men in her life
5)      Friends (well this one I didn’t mind)
So why did I NOT want to write posts like hers? Simply because I didn’t want to wash my dirty linen in public! But am I going to do so with this post? BLOODY WELL YES!
Today, I am about to unravel some deep (and not so dark) secrets about my love life. Yes, you read me right. Anyone and everyone who knows me (and now you will too) knows that I have had a plethora of men walk into my life at different points in time. But who were these men? How did they get here, and why did they leave (assuming they did!).
You are about to find all these answers here – in this blog post and a few (yes, I am being modest) posts to come.
Please Note: I will use fictional names throughout. So don’t you go around guessing who’s who (or maybe you could. It would be fun!). Some parts of the blog posts may be fictionalized to maintain the integrity of the men involved (and mostly to save my ass).
My Blue Eyed Boy:
“Hello, is this Tee?”
“Yeah, this is she”, I replied.
“Oh, hi there. This is Kevin. Remember we’d chatted on yahoo a long time back?” he asked earnestly.
“Uh. NO!” I said out, in my usual loudmouth fashion.
15 minutes later, I’d realized who the guy in question was; although I specifically remember not wanting to talk to him because his real name sounded extremely; how do I put this nicely, ‘tapori—like’. But here he was, all these years (okay months) later.
“So, how have you been?” I asked for the sake of niceity.
“Supremely good. Could I take you out for a movie?” he asked.
I almost jumped in my seat. Here was a guy I couldn’t even remember about 15 minutes back; and now I was being asked out by him? Really, now???
Come to think of it, I was alone at home (I used to live alone back then); and I was bored and hungry. A movie may have been a good idea. What did I have to lose?
“Okay” I replied, nonchalantly; and I think that took him a lil by surprise.
“It’s a 5:15 show. I’ll see you there at 4:45?” he asked.
“Sure”, I said before hanging up.
Up until this time, I had never ever gotten anywhere in time (except exam halls). But some part of me felt bad for the lil man I’d just spoken to. Well, to be fair, I’d almost said no! So I decided to make a conscious effort to get there on time.
As I stepped on the escalator, I looked at my watch. It read ‘4:45’. I was beaming as I stepped off the escalator. Finally, I’d managed to get somewhere in time. To be honest, I had a fair idea of what to expect. I’d seen some pictures of him before. I looked around for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. I was new to the whole ‘waiting’ thing. So I decided to make a call, I assumed it would keep me busy; and boy! It did keep me busy!
I looked at my watch again. This time it was 5:10. I couldn’t believe I’d been around for 25 minutes already and this jackass was nowhere to be seen.I dialled his number.
“Hello”, he said. He’d hardly finished his hello when I began yelling at him.
“Where the hell are you? Do you know what time it is?” I almost shouted.
“Oh damn, I will be there in 5. I am almost there. Sorry sorry sorry!”he panted. He seemed to be running. ‘Well, he better be’, I thought to myself.
I looked at my watch again. It was 5:17. The movie had already begun.
At 5:22, I saw him come up the escalator. He was wearing a maroon shirt with a chinese collar, and blue jeans. His recent haircut was making him look way better than the picture I’d seen. I was still angry with him, and he knew it. He looked at me and flashed an apologetic smile.
And that was when I noticed them for the first time – his dimples. He had one of the most adorable smiles I’d ever seen. Damnit, why did he have to be so cute! All my anger had melted away by this point in time.
By the time we got down to getting ourselves the tickets and entering the movie hall, it was already 5:30.
As we walked out of the movie hall, he looked at me and asked if we could spend a little more time together. I liked the idea, so I nodded my head.
“Coffee?” I asked him.
“Your place or mine” he nudged me playfully.
“Mine. I stay closer” I said, and took him by surprise.
“Serious?” he quizzed, one raised eyebrow in place. I nodded my head. “Let’s go”, he said.
Back at home, the whole ‘coffee’ bit went super well; and one meeting melted into another. Before we knew it, we’d been meeting each other regularly for over a month.
Then that’s when it happened. Exactly 33 days after meeting no. 1, he asked me out for another movie. You know this one thing about women; they almost always know if a man is looking at them. I could feel him stare at me throughout the movie. Everytime I looked in his direction, he’d smile at me and politely look away.
At this point in time, I could almost kiss him; but I was still wondering what he’d had in mind; cause let’s face it, I wasn’t looking for a ‘wham-bam’.
After what seemed like an eternity, he leaned towards me, and whispered in my ears “I think we’d do well as a couple. I can so totally see it working. You’re smart, I’m cute!”
I looked at him in shock. “Excuse me? I am smart and you are cute?” I asked him, mocking his self-gloating.
“And yeah, I’m sorta crazy about you” he said, flashing those pearlies.
By this point in time, I am beginning to sense the fact that he’s definitely not kidding. He means it. He looks right into my eyes, and I can’t take it anymore. I lean forward and let my lips meet his. After what seems like an eternity, we pull away from each other.
He looked me right in the eyes and asked “So is that a yes or a no?”
So, that my readers, is the story of how I met my blue eyed boy. But like they say, everything good must come to an end. So did this story. But it definitely was my favorite story, since it lasted a solid 3 years. It came with its fair share of heartbreak when we called it off. But some things in life are just worth doing.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The biggest advantage of having gay friends = NO BORING NIGHT-OUTS EVER

The biggest advantage of having gay friends = NO BORING NIGHT-OUTS EVER!
Don’t believe me? Read on... 

This weekend turned out to be extremely ‘eventful’ (if I may call it that for the lack of a better term). I was still at office when mom called me and told me that my neighbor’s cat ‘Chunzi’ had gone missing, and they hadn’t seen or heard her in an hour’s time. When I got home, there had still been no signs of Chunzi darling. Mom and I, equipped with a strong flashlight and a bowlful of cat-food headed to the terrace – her favorite hangout. We were just hoping that she’d found her way up there, since she’d seen no one at home.

My neighbor was going to stay out for the night; which is why she’d specifically asked us to keep an eye on the cat for her. It was on her insistence that mom let the cat loose in the first place.

Mom and I returned home after a while, dejected and helpless. Chunzi was nowhere to be seen. Nightfall took over and so did sleep. Once I’d managed to satiate my insatiable hunger, mom and me hit our respective beds.

In the morning, I was awoken by voices of people talking around me. My sis was here. She was going to stay the weekend, since her house was being done up (in lieu of the baby to come), and it wasn’t a good idea for her to be around while the painting was being done. We sat down in a couple of hours to have a scrumptious lunch; after which mom and my sis headed to the gynecologist.

It was at this time, that I was to head out to meet my friend ‘J’. He and I were supposed to catch up post his lunch date with a newfound ‘close friend’ (ahem ahem). However, that wasn’t to be.
In the meanwhile, I’d also called Salome. So I decided to meet up with her at around 5ish to watch a movie (Johnny English). I looked at the clock. It was 2:30; so I decided that a one hour nap might actually do me good.

An argument (with dad) later, I was snoring peacefully. At around 4ish, I receive a text from my frazzled neighbor who is on her way back since she couldn’t focus on work. She HAD TO find her cat. No prizes for guessing who she’d chosen as her loyal sidekick for the mission! (Translation for morons: ME)
So there you go, all my hopes of catching up with J or Sal were being flushed down the drain right in front of my sleepy eyes. So I went to the ‘Create Message’ tab on my cell phone and typed a text out for Sal; in which I explained to her why we’d have to postpone our meeting (Read: The mission of finding the missing cat was my priority).

Just when I saw the postponed meeting as an opportunity to catch a longer nap; my dreams were shattered. Mom and sis walked back into the house and turned on the lights. All my sleep vanished in a second. All I heard in my head was a loud ‘Poof’ and it was gone! That was the last I’d see of it for quite a long time; but I just didn’t know that as yet.

So I decided it was best I woke up. I sat up and started chatting with my sis about her gynecologist’s appointment; and she said that the baby seemed perfectly fine. She was really excited; as was I for her. She is now in her 7th month. 2 months and a couple of days more to go, and she’ll be a proud mommy. I know she’ll make for a great mommy (Sorry about the tangent).

By around 5.30 PM, my neighbor ‘M’ walks into my house. When she hears stories about how long the cat’s been missing for, I can see her nearing a breakdown. As expected, she runs out of our house in a bit and heads home (next door i.e.). I run after her; I couldn’t bear to see her all heartbroken.

We talk a little over tea and then my sis joins us. I excuse myself from there and head to take a shower. I have to go out with M to hunt for her cat Chunzi.

Just after I’d gotten dressed right after my shower, I hear mom’s phone ring. It’s my sis. She and M decided to go down for a walk in the time until my shower, and they’d managed to find Chunzi. Apparently, however, she was really scared. M brought her upstairs and put her down gently. As soon as she placed her on the floor, she began limping and her mews just grew louder. We knew, at once, that something was wrong.
We called the vet, who said she was at the clinic; and M along with me, ran out of the house. We arrived at the vet’s clinic around 10 minutes later; where we were told that Chunzi had a fractured leg. So from there, we had to take her down to another clinic for the X-Ray. However, sedating her before that was a pain.
The running around from home-vet-Xray guys-vet was pretty dramatic; and this was part of what made my life (read: day) eventful. I’d never imagined, even in my wildest dreams that M would be a cat person; and here I was, doing rounds of Mulund with an injured cat and my ex-neighbor who was back to being my current neighbor.

After dropping Chunzi and M back at home, I decided it was finally time to meet Sal. So I headed out to meet her. Just when I was downstairs in the building, I received a call from AB. He tells me that he has to meet me urgently. So I wait around for him; and when he comes I decide to let him talk to Sal. At once he decides that the three of us should go out tonight.

So we vroom off to Nirmal Lifestyles, where we meet Sal, grab a bite and head out of Mulund.

We also bump into J at the mall. So there you go, Sal and J finally meet!

From the mall to the car, from Mulund to Andheri – all of that in 50 flat minutes. Only AB can manage to do that without freaking me out.

Once we reached the club (which is where AB always takes us) we saw an empty dance floor and full tables. So we decide to just lounge around and soak in the ambience (which is a total lie. We were just waiting for people to get dancing). Finally people began displaying some of their dance moves. This enthused us a little further; but something was missing.

For some weird reason, the DJ kept playing extremely weird numbers one after the other. This got Sal and me to lose our cool. On the way back from one of our numerous loo breaks, Sal decided that we should stick to the center of the dance floor because the temperature was way cooler than it was back in the corner where we’d been dancing until then. I agreed; so we stopped somewhere in between.

Just had we started dancing when the crowds parted and I saw him walk towards me in all his glory. There he was – Abhi. I had so missed the boy. Abhi happened to be one of these gay men I’d met at one of the recent gay parties I’d gone to, and boy-oh-boy had we clicked or what!

When Abhi noticed me, he came rushing forward to hug me; and then we did the whole hug and jump and giggle routine. He then went on to introduce me to his ‘friends’ and he patted one of them on the shoulder. He turned around and turned out to be another gay friend who I’d always loved dancing with. Even Sal seemed mighty pleased to see them there.

The rest of the evening was spent in absolute joy! There was a lot of dancing, and even more laughing. So guess who came to the rescue eventually? My gay pals.

Now does this explain the title of my blog post? I am sure it does! And if you need to know more about my stories associated with my gay buds; stay tuned. I have a lot more blog posts coming up in the near future.
Until then, this is me signing out at around 5.00 AM. Must sleep!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Farewell My Four Legged Pal

Over 12 years ago, a bundle of joy was brought into our house. When dad and Tess carried her into the house in that shopping bag, little did we know that our life was about to change forever! For day one, we called her ‘Trina’ and she didn’t respond to the name. So we decided that it was time to change the name. ‘Trixie’, we decided it was; and believe it or not, she responded to the name from the moment she heard it for the first time. So TRIXIE it was to be. 

Day 2 of her being in the house; and we were still not used to having a lil four legged baby running around in the house. When mom opened the door that morning to get in the milk; we heard a yelp. Trixie had also come running to the door to check who the ‘intruder’ was, her watchdog instincts in place ever since that day. Mumma hadn’t remembered to check for the lil one, and had accidentally opened the door onto her paw. We all checked her for any other signs of hurt, and noticed that her paw was bleeding. I still remember how much everyone had cried that day. Although in retrospect it may sound funny and silly, but we were genuinely upset that day. 

Today, we all cried for her once again. Over 12 years later, we bade goodbye to the love of our life. Trixie was gone – forever this time. She will be sorely missed. I still can’t believe she won’t come running to the door to wag her tail till it threatens to separate from her body. I can’t believe she will never lick my nose again. I can’t believe she won’t scratch my leg when she wants to be touched. I can’t believe there will be no endless barks on the night when the other dogs of the area decide to sing in harmony. I can’t believe I won’t have to kick her off the bed coz she was taking up more place than I could ever do. I can’t believe I’ll never see her again. I’ll miss you, my love! I’ll miss you!
Trixie – a friend, a sister, a lover, a dog!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

All Aboard - Why I hate Kanjivaram Saris!!!

Any and every woman who has traveled by a train in Bombay (a.k.a Mumbai as per MNS standards) would have a story to tell. There is one peculiar breed of women (and men) that are exclusive to Bombay; they are your train friends. Beware, however, that this post isn’t about train friends. This post is about anyone and everyone who has a train story to tell.

Why I Hate Kanjivaram Saris!!!

Christine (my pal from college) and I would take the same train to college every morning. I have always called the first class ladies’ compartments on the Central Railway line as being ‘anorexic compartments’; this owing to the fact that they are as tiny as can be. Given the fact that we little children (we were about 16 or 17 then) would have to travel during peak hours, we preferred getting off the train at Vidyavihar station and then boarding the following train which was a Ghatkopar to CST train. One morning, while Christine and I were on our usual trip of getting off the train at Ghatkopar, this incident happened.  This elderly lady standing near the door was draped in a pretty kanjivaram sari which had tassels on her paloo and it so happened that these very tassels got entangled on my bag. I didn’t want her sari to tear, and so I promptly jumped back into the moving train; and following my action, so did Christine. Once I was back inside, I hurriedly tried to free her sari from my bag, so that we could get off at the next station i.e. Kurla. When I’d finally managed to detangle the tassels, the woman looks at me and says “Can’t you college kids handle a small bag?”

I didn’t say anything, for I wanted to get off at the next station; and getting into an argument at that point in time wouldn’t help me. The next statement she made, however, changed my mind. She began an age old argument that had always been capable of making my blood boil. She began harping about ‘How college kids with their concessional season passes were cramping the first class compartments’. Something exploded inside me. I turn to her and look and say “Even if it hadn’t been for the concessions, almost all of our parents could afford the money for our seasonal passes. Concession or no concession, we’d have still been traveling first class!”

She was taken aback. She hadn’t expected me to counter-argue with her. To my surprise, all the college kids in that compartment stood up to support me; and when I say ‘stood up’, I mean it literally. They all came and stood behind me in a semi-circular formation of sorts. Suddenly, the anorexic compartment had turned into a war ground.

I continued “Are you trying to tell me that your kids/grandkids aren’t availing of concessions in any form? Or perhaps, you expect me to believe that you never bought anything at subsidized rates ever in your life?”

The kanjivaram clad lady was zapped. She didn’t know what to say. The college kids cheered. They’d found a voice in ‘frustrated’ me. I ended up traveling on the same train, all the way to CST (which was my intended destination).

When it was time for us to get off the train, I looked at her and uttered my parting words; “And yes, we ‘college kids’ wouldn’t mind taking care of our rather SMALL bags if only you could take care of your smaller wayward tassels”. My job was done!

Who said traveling in Bombay was easy?

(Watch out for more traveling stories sometime in the future.) 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

All A Woman Wants

Tabiness spells crazy.
Tabiness spells fun.
Tabiness spells dilemma.
Tabiness spells WOMAN!

Welcome to yet another dimension of the World of Tabiness.

It’s a Monday morning. The sun should have been shining bright and the birds chirping. Instead, I had sweat pouring down my back, as I ran in the humid air to catch the sought-after bus this morning. Just when I got to the bus depot, I saw the bus leave – right in front of my eyes. No amount of flailing of arms or nameless shouts managed to catch the attention of the bus driver.

Next bus in 40 minutes or a dash to catch this bus at one of the following stops!’

I had to think fast. I ran, like my life depended on it. The overcast skies seemed to taunt me with even more humidity in the air. Each step I took seemed like it was tougher than the previous.'I need to start jogging!', I thought to myself. A rickshaw screeches to a halt, breaking my train of thoughts. Well, perhaps it was just one boogie of a thought. 

“Kahan jaana hai, madam?” he asks.
“Louis wadi, Nitin Company ya Cadbury Junction”, came my reply.

Astounded, he lets me sit. I think he took me on as a challenge. When I discussed my dilemma with him (of how I’d like to catch the same bus I’d missed at the depot), he took it upon himself to get me into the bus. For some weird reason (not like I’m complaining), I got all the signals open for us to whizz past; and I did manage the unthinkable – I caught the bus at Cadbury Junction. 

I shoved Rs. 30/- into the hands of the sweaty yet content rickshaw driver; said a hasty ‘thank you’ and made a dash for the bus.

Once I was inside the comforts of the air-conditioned bus; I wiped the sweat off my brow and wondered to myself ‘Was it worth it? All the running, all the panting, all the driving!!!’ (Well, technically the rickshaw guy did the driving.)

Come to think of it, I actually spent more than I would have spent if I’d stood at the bus depot and waited for the next bus to come along. In spite of that (and all the sweating and panting), catching this very bus seemed like it was worth it. There was an adrenaline rush attached to catching the very bus you thought you’d missed.

There is something amazing about achieving things you thought you’d never be able to do. 5 years back, in 2006, when I sat down to type out my first blog post; I thought it’d be a failed attempt, just like those one-off diary posts I’d never managed to get past. 5 years later, with the first blog post on my 2nd blog, I feel exhilarated. It’s a feeling like no other. It’s a feeling that’s so GOOD, I want to scream out with joy.

With ‘All A Woman Wants’, I shall open up to you about the ‘feminine’ side of the Tabiness you know. She’s got her weaknesses, her strengths, her information, and her queries. You’ll see all of this and more. See you around!!!